In conversations I can hold eye contact when the other person is talking. No problem that’s easy for me to do.
However, for as long as I can remember I have avoided looking at people in the eyes whilst I am speaking to them.
I think there are a few reasons that relate to how I grew up
- I was in a potentially dangerous situation ie. stare down before a fight
- I was in trouble with a teacher
- I am attracting someone’s attention to me and that might lead to a dangerous situation
So growing up I learned that if there is eye contact then something negative has happened or is about to happen.
Once I left where I grew up and into safer environments people thought my lack of eye contact was odd.
I now feel that I want to be able to hold eye contact when I talk to people. Mainly because I know that eye contact will allow me to have deeper connection with others.
I think the first step is to realize that eye contact is not equal to a bad thing.
I’m currently working on changing this belief, I’ll see how I progress.